a blog of fantastical things

It all started with three simple words
“You’re
my
bro.”
Let’s be clear here
I was NOBODY’S bro.
I only owned one polo which I got from my aunt for Christmas two years ago.
I’d never set foot in a gym.
I didn’t wear Axe, I wore Rite Aid Brand Deodorant.
The last time I threw a Frisbee was 9th grade.
It broke my front window.
My 15 year old sister is more of a Bro than me.
But, I had Chad’s back, and according to some unwritten code
That I’d never heard of
I became his bro.

“You’re my bro.”
The magic words
revealing shared ideals
promising future frat parties
Collars popped to a perfect 75 degrees
And backwards hats that smelled like salt water and desperately needed to be washed
That wasn’t me!
I wasn’t a bro!
I didn’t give high fives screaming “wooh” and “yeah!”
During hours of Madden marathons
I didn’t own hair gel of any type
I couldn’t tell you what a jager bomb was
I didn’t drive a truck
Do kegstands
Walk like a bro
or “Talk like a bro”
But Chad flipped my world upside down with those three words
“You’re my bro.”

The day after Chad’s magic words
I went to school
In the same old clothes
With the same old walk
And the same old talk
I saw Chad, deep within a throng of other bros.
I pushed my way through, looked him right in the eyes, lowered my voice 3 or 4 decibels, and barked,
“Yo Chad, whatsup bro?”
Chad reached out with both arms
And pulled me in for a brief, thunderous “brohug”
A hug in which two bros make contact for only a moment
As they pound each other on the back with their fists.
“Wassup, bro?!”
He yelled, pounding my fist.
The throng of bros closed around me.
They were smiling,
Patting me on the shoulder,
Accepting me as one of the bros.
And I realized something
Maybe being a bro wasn’t so bad
Maybe being a bro meant being a part of a family
A family that drank a lot and slept with lots of women
That loved sports and feats of strength
Sort of like an Irish family.
But most importantly,
Your bros had your back.
Your bros were the ones you could count on.
Your bros were your bros.