a blog of fantastical things

When the storm hits

you run for shelter

and thats why you are now here

in my arms

because somewhere behind your now-closed

eyelids it is raining

and the flood is overflowing

one drop at a time

down your rounded cheek and

onto your chin

but you don’t wipe it away

I do

and this is not appropriate behavior for two straight men

This is not appropriate behavior for two straight men.

nine months ago the news became as broken

as I was

and there

in public

you held me

not a hug

you were embracing me

holding me together

you were containing me

your arms keeping guts in like a turniquette

your hands white knuckled on my back

and me leaving saline saliva and snot

on your shoulder

because when men cry

its not pretty

and i was weak kneed after a week of bleeding though shirts leaving stains in the shape of a woman’s name

we were attracting the attention of six lanes of traffic

and two bus stops of public transportation patrons who couldn’t help but think that

this is not appropriate behavior for two straight men

This is not appropriate behavior for two straight men

but she broke me then

emotional pain physically actualized

I could feel her using the needle to inject her name into the left side

of my chest

so that everytime my heart beat blood through capilaries

my entire body was filled with her memory

and i could feel her leaving in my fingertips

and i was wincing for weeks

waiting for relief

but it held on like a short night’s sleep

and you held me then

and now its my thumb doing the windshield wiper sweep across your cheek

and this is not appropriate behavior for two straight men

I’m here because your father isnt emotional enough

and your mother isn’t strong enough

because each exhaled breath feels like a silent scream

and even inhaling feels like letting go

because its a misconception

the presense of a Y chromosome does not inhibit emotion

and you are here in my arms because I want you to know

that I don’t give a fuck about anything or anybody but you right now

and i would stand up to flying rocks from old school jocks

and chauvinists who believe they know more about men than God does

If i thought it would save you right now I would hold you until its over

and this is not appropriate behavior for two straight men

but it fucking should be.